Sunday, November 27, 2005
oh man.. this hating thing is prettyy tough for me, but when i do hate, man, the satisfaction..whoaa...
so yea, i kindda ran away from *you*... i mean im sorry i just ran off like that but i have my reasons....i mean honestly, i was seriously pissed and jealous at the same time so the mixture would really create unpleasantness but seriously.. how the hell do u think i felt when i ter-read "shes my best friend now" when i wanna be ur best friend too.. and to make matters worse, ure best friend is ur..well u noe wat she meant to u once.. so like that practically makes me second place... no matter how we try to hide it, thatll always be my position whether shes alive or dead.. im sorry im writin this on my blog but i dunno if i can go online tomorrow or if i want to..... cuz i wanna occupy myself.. i realised the more i go online, the more the reason im in uae disappears.. i mean i wanna run away from the problems and shit in singapore and here i am, online, gettin all kinds of crap.. the only non-problematic person i talk to is ***elias*** cuz man, he's always crackin me up with his perverntness and pornoficationatingness.. haha..crazy fella..
anyways, im just afraid of one thing.. my couz told me something.. and the last time she did, it turned out true.. and now im afraid it mite be true.. i mean i know u never wanna hurt me.. im not gonna lie and say i dun deserve u cuz i do deserve the best and ure the best.. but the thing is, im makin this hard for me and for u.. i dunno wats gotten into me, im not usually like this.. maybe im just so afraid that i mite lose u and i dun wanna but everything's just collapsing on mee....
**where did all my confidence in us go?????**
i dont noeee anymorrrrrrrrreee.. i never did.. oh shit.. i dunno wats happenin to me.. haiz.. watever it is, if **you** wanna talk to me or smth, email me and tell me wat time (SG) u'd be online and ill try to get myself to go online, ok??
****************...damn the world...******************
Jammin at
4:39 AM